Or...How 'The Day After Tomorrow' Just Became a Masterpiece.
I used to love disaster films, but then again, I also used to love spoofs. The last good spoof was 2000's Scary Movie. And the last good disaster film was...was...well, maybe Dante's Peak in 1997. Definitely don't make 'em like they used to.
I really wanted to give this movie an extra half star for the graphics, but even they were a letdown as they appeared in approximately 2% of this more-mystery-than-disaster-film. And I'm using "mystery" enormously loosely. Even the Scooby-Doo gang would refund the money and just tell the cops whodunit before the case was even explained.
The one brightside of this movie, though also not enough for that half-star, was the unintentional comedy. I found myself laughing out loud more than a few times at the "dramatic" moments, the fact the cast obviously had no clue what movie they were in and the acting...including the worst actor I've seen in years: Alexandra Maria Lara who played "Ute Fassbinder." Seriously, if you like unintentional comedies like I do, she would almost be worth watching this (actual) disaster for.
Following the plot of the terrible (1998's) The Avengers, there's a satellite of hate put in place to fix climate change since we really just needed a Band-Aid. But, shocker, someone wants to use it as a weapon and cause the movie's title.
Aside from the horrendous acting, plot-holes, dialogue, predictability, clichés and false drama, another one of its worst traits: it's so...damn...long. I kept checking the time as the first two-thirds is just people trying to figure out the plot they may/may not have read in the alleged script. And then, FINALLY, the "action" starts...but, of course, as Hollywood does so much these days (cough, cough, Thor: Ragnarok,) they kept cutting away from what people actually wanted to see in lieu of the bad story and acting.
Worse, when the climax finally began, there was approximately 36 minutes left and as it ended, there was about 20 minutes left. This movie would never end.
I take that back. Mercifully, it did and since I survived the Geostorm, my life now has a purpose: MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE HAS TO LIVE THROUGH WHAT I JUST DID.
Final thoughts: My jab at Thor: Ragnarok was in jest. I really did like that movie, but was enormously frustrated with its cut-aways. Almost every single time one of the 15 subplots or action scenes got good, bam!, instant transition to yet another subplot. My guess: they think, "Well, people have seen this countless of times, so we don't need to show them this all over again...and we can save money in the process! Cha-ching!"
Well, you answered your own thought there: if people HAVE seen it countless of times, make even more money by thinking of something new.
Action / Sci-Fi / Thriller
Action / Sci-Fi / Thriller
When catastrophic climate change endangers Earth's very survival, world governments unite and create the Dutch Boy Program: a world wide net of satellites, surrounding the planet, that are armed with geoengineering technologies designed to stave off the natural disasters. After successfully protecting the planet for three years, something is starting to go wrong. Two estranged brothers are tasked with solving the program's malfunction before a world wide Geostorm can engulf the planet.
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January 24, 2018 at 01:18 PM